I need something different, something to feed my need for adventure, my wild side. I dreamed 17 year old dreams of an exciting life away from the small town borning sticks that I was born into. I decided there was only one way so I begged and pleaded until my parents signed me up. NAVY here I come.

Well that wasn't all I had it cracked up to be. Stuck on a ship, for months on end. I did my time and went home. Dreams never stopped playing on my mind and it didn't take long before I know I had to go for more. I was old enough now to do what I wanted. My dad was 100% with me. I joined the ARMY.

My career took off. Vietnam also took off. I got the excitement that I thought I wanted. I also go shot. I was wounded pretty bad in the shoulder. The Army sent me home for a bit of recuperation and home never looked so good. Problem is, no one helps a soldier adjust to civilian life. In Nam we have a purpose and excitement that can't be put into words. Right or Wrong it becomes inbedded into your being. The military life called me, tugged at me, soon I went back. I would get shot, go home, get better, go back to Nam. Three times and 3 purple hearts, the last one also came with a medical discharge and over 50 pieces of the bomb in my back and lung. The other lung was removed. The people running our government decided that I was 30% disabled and told me that I could work. I could barely breathe, as time went on I could not hold down a job. I started living here and there with friends and family. I would pretend that I was working and just sit in my old beat up car until the day was done trying to save some dignity for myself. The pain from lead poisening is so excruciating that what it does to your brain is unrepairable. One day I just lost all control and with my dad in one room and my girlfriend with me in the bathroom struggling for the gun, I pulled the trigger. It misfired. The relief in her eyes should have made me stop but I was not me anymore, I was being driven by lead poisening. I raised the gun and pulled the trigger sending the last bullet into my tired 33 year old body this time it took my life and the last thread of her sanity.

Please, please, help me help these men and women who served our needs, kept us safe and made this the land of the brave and free. Be the one that they need, be the someone who cares about them. Our governement is letting them down in this area. I fought for this country and for the people I love. I truely believe that the United States of America is a wonderful place to live and be, but the people running the operation need to made accountable. I am so grateful for any donation that you can give.

Sincerely,
SSG James F. Massey
1942-1975